embracing adolescence (late february thoughts)

being a teenage girl means that you have to suffer from stereotypes and have to deal with the weight of pressure seeping in from the media, your family, and your peers. sometimes being a teenage girl fucking sucks because throughout childhood you're naturally taught to be the best you can be; which translates into that everyone else at school is competition and that you should outdo everyone else. that assumption leads to envy, insecurity, and even self-hatred, which ends up leaving you an emotional wreck even when you finally escape higher education. 

i think the most thrilling thing about being a teenage girl is that you have the capability to constantly imagine how your future is going to be played out and what you're going to do when you become an adult. the fun part about it is that you can be anything you imagine inside your head, whether you want to be a housewife, a millionaire, a groupie, a DJ, or a chef; there are no limitations. however the thought of actually growing up is quite scary, i can't think of another way of spending my teenage years without picturing who or what i'm going to be when i graduate. that's why every time someone lessens the value of being a teenage girl in me, i want to set them aside and say, ''at least i'm a dreamer. you spend your life in a small grey globule of pity and i have colors inside of my head''

i think that the internet, or even growing up/aging/becoming an adult or teenager desensitizes you to certain things, such as gore or the way the body works, or even how you deal with certain situations. that process may sound like it destroys your curiosity, but, truthfully, it fuses your curiosity into a distorted mixture of imagination and lust and further curiosity of how the WORLD works, not just how your body works or what you're really supposed to do when you end up drunk behind the wheel or how to deal with a friend who is having a panic attack. that's not necessarily a bad thing at all, really, because overwhelming feelings of wanderlust can allow you to create an imaginary world inside of your head that you can eventually explore and flourish in when you get older.